DreamLyrics™ Play-by-Post Forums Front of House Our Community Review Film TV What =were= they thinking?

I get the impression that the Sci Fi channel rather relies on the silliness of some of their stuff to keep audiences happy - bring back MST3K! From memory there have been other equally daft films from this stable involving

- Giant cybernetic crocodiles
- A giant Piranha snake thing
- A shark crossed with an octopus (with the imaginative name of Sharktopus)

Watched all of them - all completely bonkers but still entertaining!


I believe the pic of the shark leaping for the helicopter diver has been debunked as fake a while ago.

Oh and don't forget all those movies where people and buildings are able to be frozen solid in seconds. They seem to really like that one. I have seen it in several of their movies <sigh>

I am waiting for Croca-Panda-Saurus the Movie! It looks like a large cuddly panda.. until it eats Tokyo.

Or, Platypusygeddon. The name says it all.

Hmmmm I'd watch those ... or maybe I have already seen them! <weg>

I wonder if this is simply the New Generation's version of Pulp?

* omigosh ... a serious speculation! *

Ann Coulter will play the Vice President in Sharknado3.

I have no words.

I am trying very hard not to have any words as well <g>

And I'm trying not to read them. Ignorance is bliss!

If ignorance was bliss, Ann Coulter would be the world's biggest blister.

OOooo new candidate for worst SF ever ... Icetastrophy <chuckle>

It just came to me ... the name for the movie genre embodied by movies like the above: 'Science Make Believe' <chuckle>

Well I have just seen my new candidate for worst movie ever ... RoboShark <sigh> It must have been a direct to Netflix movie since it has a July 2015 release date. Sadly it seems like the USA network was feeling left out of SyFy's shark insanity <shrug>

OK ... I need to add another. I just watched 'Three Headed Shark' <sigh> A new low in stupidity. Parts of it reminded me of Zombie Lake, one of the all time bad movies. Lets see ...

1.) a shark with 3 heads seem to be able to 'flatten' it's body so that it can swim in about 18 inches of water and still 'leap' into the air to 'come down' on a fellow

2.) it is apparently able to 'sink' an entire under water research facility but cannot manage to take out a small motor boat

3.) the research facility is apparently an island and ... also apparently, the 3 headed shark is able to sink islands ... well, technically it is an atol <g>

4.) at one point they are trying to save 'all the folks' on a 'tour boat' that is 4 to 5 times the size of their 'small motor boat'. After they lose several their original group, the 'institute' survivors only manage to save two out of the entire 20+ 'tourists' on the boat.

And that is just the start.

The only redeeming part of the movie is that it has <sigh> Danny Trejo. But I have to wonder if he needed the money ... or he lost a bet to get cast in the movie.

After automatic weapons fire fails to take out the beast, Danny manages to kill it with his machete <chuckle> This is the same shark that was big enough and bad enough to scuttle an under water facility. Unfortunately, Cutting off a head was not enough to kill it. Apparently it was 'playing dead' and waited for a chance to 'get' Danny. Oh, did I mention that once you cut off a head it grows two more? Can you say 'hydra-shark'? I mean WTF, it is supposed to be a Science Fiction ... not Science 'Fantacy' <sigh>

That does sound a 'good' candidate!

Next candidate ... is it just me or do there seem to be =waaay= to many of these? <sigh>

I find it =very= disappointing that such a badly written movie could be made in 2015 <sigh>

So it is a 'thriller'/'disaster' movie. 4 underwater oil workers go down to 650' to work on an oil pipeline and bad things happen. Their 'tender' ship sinks, now what? A pretty straight forward plot ... who will survive, what will they do to survive and so on. That is where the good news ends.

Starting with the little things ...

They spend a lot of time on the 'radio' talking to ships on the surface. Radio? Underwater? Not in =this= reality. The Navy has been working with all manner of alternative methods to communicate with subs and the like.

Beacon. Where to start here ... remember we are doing this in 2015 ... but apparently
1.) you have to be withing 750' of the their 'live saving' beacon in order to pick up it's signal. But they are 650 feet down. Not much 'margin' for 'finding' then from =that= signal.

2.) they come up with the 'brilliant idea' to detach the beacon from the bell and 'float' it to the surface. Gee it has only been 50+ years since divers had figured out that the beacon needs to be on the surface, so it is 'detachable', attached to a cable and allowed to float to the surface <shrug>

3.) apparently the 'modified' beacon had to have a manual switch to activate ... so that they diver has to remove his diving glove ... in the 'heard' of jelly fish ... so that they could sting him? <sigh>

Beacon vs Radio: Apparently, in their reality, radio goes for =MILES= underwater while the life saving beacon can only go 750 feet? Was this system designed by suicidal idiots?

Tether followers vs blind hiking - This one strikes me a lot like the 'lets hide behind the curtain of chainsaws' decision. They are running out of air. They know that the ship they are tethered to sank and that ship will have spare air tanks. One guy ... the most frail guy, decides to go to the ship for air ... but fails to make it to the ship before 'expiring'. So ... random plot twist ... apparently the company that build the pipeline ... remember the pipeline? that was what they were down there to fix ... had apparently 'stashed' air tanks at various spots along the route. OK ... another note - the tether ship had been 'pulling' the bell up because there was a storm coming, right? That was when it sank. So ... lets review ... starting at a depth of 650', being pulled up ... so has to be less than 650' between the bell and the ship, right? The next guy decides to go the opposite direction for a place that is more like thousands of feet away (and dragging the 'umbilical' that connects to the bell for air and comm) ???? He deserved his pointless death when the 'tether' runs out 'feet' from the spare air ... right? <sigh>

But here's the biggie for me. The crew leader says that they cannot 'drop ballast' and float to the surface because the bell might 'explode' from the pressure. He goes on and on about this through out the whole movie. However, in the beginning of the movie, they pressurize the bell while it is still on the ship. So how is that a problem?? Here is why I think this is the 'deal breaker' for me. I can more easily accept a 'movie' ignoring 'reality', being 'stupid' or the like as long as they are consistent about it. It =is= just a movie after all ( OK .. it does still bugs me <g> ). But in this 'pressure problem', they are ignoring the reality that =THEY= established at the start of the movie <sigh>

I am reluctant to mention the title, but in the interest of possibly saving others from this drivel, 'Pressure' is the title.

Good review Mike, I certainly won't be watching it!

Then my work here is done <chuckle>

Whatever happened to honest schlock like "Night of the Lepus" that never tried to take itself too seriously?

Dave and Tucker ... Shawn of the Dead ... all of the Evil Dead films ... they =are= out there <wink>

well of course everyone knows sinking a ring shaped coral reef is no trouble atoll.





<runs and hides ...>

<heh heh heh> you are so =very= bad wolf <g>

I applaud punnery like that.

OK ... I admit that this was probably a 'bottomless pit' <sigh> So here is the next 'what were they thinking' ...

Kung Fury. To be fair, I might have 'bought into' this of it had been an anime. but as a 'live action' movie it just seemed ... 'stupud' <sigh>